Far Better

After driving a little over 10 hours, I am finally relaxing in the hotel room I will call "home" for the next 2 nights. I unpacked my devotionals and sat down to read my assigned texts for the day. I opened my "Our Daily Bread" and noticed the title "Far Better", which included Revelation 21:1-4.

This particular writing and the included verses spoke to me. I suppose they did, because my Grandpap passed away Monday afternoon. I've wondered why I haven't been crying uncontrollably, and I think I know the answer now. Grandpap is in a much better place. He's home in Heaven with his Lord and Savior. He's been reunited with loved ones, including his beautiful bride. He's no longer in pain, and the Alzheimer's has dissipated. He's healthy, he's loved, he's happy!

Revelation 21:4 states, "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

How true is that? For those of us left behind, we can find comfort in knowing that the man who was a husband, father, brother, uncle, cousin, and grandfather is pain free and whole once again. When you think of it that way, it's hard to wish he were still here.

I wish I had gotten to say goodbye, but the last few times I had talked to Grandpap on the phone, he had a hard time remembering who I was. My Mom and Dad were concerned about me seeing who he'd become; they didn't want me to remember him that way. Knowing Grandpap, he wouldn't have wanted me to see him that way either.

I'm blessed to have called him Grandpap and to have had him call me Granddaughter. He and my Grandma, who passed several years ago, accepted my brother and I as their own. It didn't matter that we didn't have the same blood flowing through our veins, we were their grandchildren.

Moreover, I'm left with a plethora of memories. After my family and I moved to NC, Grandpap would come to visit for a month or two at a time. He was there to see me off the night I attended my Junior prom. He was there to see me graduate from high school. My brother and I spent countless hours walking the golf course with him, looking for golf balls. I can hear him now "Merry K, look! There's a golf ball under that bush. Go get it!". Who cared if I had a thing about ticks, Grandpap wanted that golf ball!! Golf ball hunting was usually followed by an evening of me picking cactus stickers out of his fingers. Saturday evenings were spent watching the Statler Brothers, while I clipped and filed his toe nails. There are countless more, but those are the memories that I recall most often.

So, although I will miss Grandpap, I will celebrate his life and the fact that he is in Heaven with God. When I look at it that way, it's impossible not to be happy for him! I love you Grandpap. I pray that I don't disappoint you and I will see you again one day! RIP. Until next time, FROG!

Please add the sugar syrup!!!!!

For all of you that don't know, I'm a coffeeholic. I LOVE COFFEE. Morning, noon, night, it doesn't matter. McDonalds has come out with their McCafe. You can order specialty coffees. Now they don't have the selection that Star Bucks has, but it's more of a selection than just your plain hot coffee. I think God is trying to tell me I don't need them (and knowing myself as I do, He'll have to continue to do so). Now I know you're probably laughing and scratching your head thinking I'm nuts (I am a bit), but I'm serious. The last 3 times I've gotten Regular Iced Coffee from the McCafe, something has been TERRIBLY wrong with it.

The first time it happened was my last night shift. I got Nancy and myself a LARGE iced coffee. It turned out to be an iced coffee sans the ice. The girl making them added scorching hot coffee and melted all the ice. Nothing more refreshing than an iced coffee sans ice...ugh! The second time it occurred was during my last time off. I had a nice morning of running around and sushi with friends. On the way home (and I have a trek home), I decided to stop for one of these cool, refreshing drinks. I ordered my typical large iced coffee. Being the safe driver I try to be, I didn't have a sip until after I had gotten back on the road. Boy was that a SURPRISE. Instead of the nice blend of sugar, coffee, and cream, I had a mouthful of unsweet iced tea with cream. GROSS I KNOW!!!! However, because it cost me $2.36, I drank it. After a while I got used to the taste. I won't lie though, it was a MAJOR let down. So tonight, my friend Nancy asked if I wanted a coffee, and I was like OF COURSE!! Sounds good to me...well that was ANOTHER LET DOWN. This time it was coffee, and it had ice, BUT it was MISSING the sugar syrup...*SHAKING HEAD*. So next time I order an iced coffee from the McCafe, I'm asking for sugar syrup. Until next time, FROG!

Breaking Up IS Hard to Do.

The song says it all..."Breaking Up IS Hard to Do". A month and 4 days ago, it was an ordinary day. It was my first day off, I had family and friends that loved me, and I was dating a man I planned to marry. It's funny how life can change in the blink of an eye. One moment you're happy and in the next moment, you're blinking rapidly and realizing that the future YOU planned for YOURSELF is NEVER going to happen.

Yup, that's what happened to me a month and 4 days ago. The man I was in a relationship with posed a question that made me realize that our plans for the future weren't compatible. My "PLANNED" future, slowly started to crumble before me. And after 2 days of over analyzing and thinking, I came to the conclusion that us going our separate ways was the best.

I methodically started packing everything that reminded me of "us" away. Gone were the pictures of "us" and "him". Myspace and Facebook status' changed. Pictures were written to a disk and then deleted from computers. My cell and home phone got "cleaned" out. And after a month of "waiting" (even though I knew this was the right thing to do) for him to contact me, I deleted him from my yahoo messenger and Myspace, so that I could finally start healing.

God is good like that. I knew from the beginning this probably was something I shouldn't get into. My spirit realized it, I just didn't want to listen. I had a man that thought I was sexy and smart and liked me for me. However, our communication wasn't all that great ( I was quiet. If you know me, I'm soooo not quiet) and I stopped going to church because I felt like a hypocrite. I was hiding. So after breaking up, I realized that I needed to put God first in my life. I also felt very peaceful. I can't explain it, all I know is that after my break up, I knew things were going to be different; in choosing men to date, Christians only please, and that I would truly try to follow my loving Father. And after OFFICIALLY closing the door yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling that today was truly a "new day".

My ex is never far from my thoughts and I know that eventually thoughts of him will fade, as will memories. I will be forever grateful that he encouraged my going back to school. My prayer for him is a lifetime of happiness and good fortune. And yes, I still love him.

But as for me, I've mentally written down every memory on a mental sticky note and I've tied them together in a neat pile with a ribbon and have tucked them away. I've closed a chapter and I'm starting a new one. I don't know where it will lead, but as long as I'm following Him, it can't be bad. Until next time, Frog!

Life's a dance you learn as you go....

As I drove into work today, I listened to my new, "Life's a Dance: 17 Inspirational Songs from Today's Country Artists" CD (it's VERY good). Track 10 is John Michael Montgomery's song, "Life's a Dance". After listening to it, I've come to the conclusion that John Michael Montgomery does a good job of summing up life with the following lyrics;

"Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don't worry about what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go"

They pretty much sum up what I'm learning and realizing at this stage of my life and how I'm trying to change and apply not "worrying about what I don't know". I'm so busy trying to figure out God's plan for my life, that I'm missing out on what He's doing and blessing me with NOW! "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jer. 29:11. I mean God pretty much sums it up right there. He has a plan for me. And not only that but He goes ahead and tells us in Proverbs 16:9 "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps". God IS in control, NOT me. And the sooner I submit to Him and let Him have it (because He really wants me to do this), I'll be happier.

It's easy to get caught up in the drama of everyday life. But the hardest part is making the decision as to whether you're going to wallow in it (pity party for 1 here) or you're going to let it go and move on. Lately I've been wallowing (pity party for 1 here). Wallowing is NEVER a good thing for me to do. I get tudey, aggravated, and depressed. In short, I become a party pooper, a stick in the mud, and no fun to be around.

When I get like this, I usually have a meeting with my good friend "Frank" (everyone should have a "Frank"). I won't lie, I don't usually like what "Frank" has to say at that given moment. This is because "Frank" doesn't tell me what I WANT to hear, instead "Frank" tells me what I NEED to hear (and what I NEED to hear and what I WANT to hear are 2 VERY different things). Now over the years, I've come to respect and appreciate "Frank". I've also learned to react differently. In the early years I got defensive and angry; now I get quiet, thoughtful, and I ponder what "Frank" has said. Sometimes my pondering takes a while to get through and it's usually accompanied by tears, but after a while, I see the point "Frank" makes. It doesn't mean that I necessarily agree (most of the time I do) or that I take the advice (one of these days I might learn to), but at least I listen, respect, and appreciate my friend, "Frank".

I have to unlearn a lot of behaviors that I have known and practiced for years. Luckily for me, God has blessed me with some of the most understanding and supportive people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and being able to call my friends. Yes, I know this is going to take time. I didn't learn these behaviors over night, so they won't be gone over night. But with the help of God, I'm going to be all right. I'm going to relax and remember "Life's a dance you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don't worry about what you don't know. Life's a dance you learn as you go"....
Until next time, FROG!

Honda vs the racoon on steroids and the outcome.....

For those of you who don't know, I now drive a 2005 Honda Accord EX (with butt warmers!!). She's a real beauty and my first "real" car. Now don't get me wrong all my cars up until this point have been very faithful. Hmmmm maybe I should fill you in on my car history....

My "first" car, an Eagle Summit aka the "Tootsie Mobile" (a hand me down from my parents), was a great run around car, until the crank shaft bolt fell off and she sounded like she'd explode at any minute. This little factor caused my parents and I to get my VERY FIRST brand new car! My 1999 Dodge Neon was my first car and the love of my life for a while...until I was in an accident and didn't "feel" safe in her anymore. Then came the 2001 Kia Sephia (my next brand new car), the "Lemon" model of the Kia's...need I say more (they stopped making them the year after I got mine)? In all actuality, she was a good car. She got a new transmission the 1st week I had her (I later found out that it was a rebuilt one) and after 7 years of faithful performance, the transmission locked up. Now, had I had the transmission flushed and taken care of her with routine maintenance, I'm sure I'd still have her. But alas I didn't have the $2800 to put into getting her fixed and sold her to someone who did. Luckily for me, I had my Father's 1999 Plymouth Breeze to fall back on. Now, Dad's car (I acquired her after he passed away. I had a lot of his personal belongings to tote home and couldn't afford to rent my own personal jet) had over 123,000 miles on her and I noticed on my way home from PA that even with the petal to the metal I was only going 60 MPH (that wasn't a real comfort to me). In May I needed to make another trip to PA to get more of Dad's things and figured that the Breeze probably wouldn't make it. So I started car hunting. After changing my mind a million times and probably driving my friends up the wall (I had to keep them informed of every car I was looking at and all the goodies it had), I finally found my 2005 Honda Accord at Priority Honda in Chesapeake, VA. I LOVE my car. She's silver with a V6 engine, leather interior, and a 6 CD changer. Praise the Lord, she's dependable!!

Now that I've got my history of automobiles I've owned, I can get to the heart of the story. So anyways, it was last Wednesday night. I hadn't had a great day, not at all. I was feeling pretty lousy, crying, and to boot, it was raining. I was about 3 miles from my house when all of a sudden this raccoon ran out in front of me. Now I thought to myself "Praise You Lord, look at that raccoon" (I've lived out in the "country" for 3.5 yrs now and this is the second raccoon I've seen alive...). Mr. Raccoon decided to turn around in front of the other car beside me and run back my way and stop.... Well, you pretty much know what happened, I heard "whack" and then felt my back tire go "bump"... Seeing my 2ND raccoon alive was pretty short lived. So by that time, I was feeling even crappier.

I pulled into my drive way and got my mail. I decided I'd check to see the "ding" the raccoon left in my bumper. If ONLY it had been a ding!! Oh no!! Let me tell you what Mr. Raccoon did to my bumper. He put about a 5 in tear in it, pushed it in and down, and caused part of it to scrape the ground (luckily my friend pulled that part off for me or it would have driven me up the wall). The raccoon on STEROIDS had decided to hit MY car!!! I calmly got back into my car, thinking "God, You've got to be kidding me", and pulled up about 5 ft and parked. I then proceeded to get out of the car and check the damage again (I thought maybe I was hallucinating the first time...I wasn't).

I called my friend and let her know I was home safely and about my run in with the coon (at this point I wasn't mourning his loss as much) and realized I'd have to file an accident report for insurance reasons (being a dispatcher is very helpful at times). So I called my local sheriff's office and was told a trooper would call me soon. The trooper called, told me to meet him at the sheriffs office in a half hr, and he'd fill out the report. The report took all of 10 minutes to complete and I was on my way home again.

By the time I pulled into my drive way I was chuckling. It was kinda like my "too stressed to be blessed or too stressed to be blessed" blog day. I thanked God that I was safe and that I hadn't hit a deer or a bear. I wasn't hurt, my car still ran, and I was thankful. I was a little concerned about what this would set me back cost wise. I couldn't remember what my deductible was and I had just put one on my insurance due to the new car (full coverage). I figured I'd deal with that when the time came.

Fast forward to Friday morning (my in between day. I don't have to go to work until 7:30 pm that evening). I went to Farm Bureau and filed a claim. They took pictures and gave me the greatest news possible at that moment....I DIDN'T have a DEDUCTIBLE on my comprehensive insurance. Praise the Lord! It wasn't going to cost me anything. I could have cried. I couldn't have been more thankful to Him. Just when I think it's going to get bad, He's there helping me. Thank You God! So the good news is, I'm in good health, I have the check from Farm Bureau and I'll have my new bumper next Thursday (there was a mix up in translation. The auto body shop thought I still hadn't talked to my insurance agent). And a little piece of advice...avoid raccoons on steroids! Until next time, FROG....

Overwhelmingly blessed...thank you Father!

Whew...I am feeling overwhelmingly blessed at the moment. I have the most loving Father, God, the greatest friends and the best "sorta kinda guy" in the world. Over the past few weeks God has been doing some serious work in me. I can feel it and I can catch glimpses of it. I've blogged in the past about the "Vivian Complex"(or the "VC" for short) and "practicing what you preach...or not..." But in the last few weeks I've been right in that boat..."the bad stuff is easier to believe" (if not familiar with this quote, look up my "VC" blog). And Satan, the GREAT deceiver, has been doing a number on me... But luckily with the faithful love of my God and my friends, I'm resisting him....AND getting comfortable in my skin...again.

I think we go through phases. Sometimes we're comfortable/happy with ourselves, sometimes we aren't, I want to be all the time (not to demanding huh? This is where my friend would say, "Picky aren't we")!! But in this case, YES!! I am being "picky". I want to be HAPPY and COMFORTABLE in my skin all the time!!! I am "fearfully and wonderfully made". I am made in His image! Our loving Father DOES NOT make mistakes!! Praise the Lord!!

Lately I've been being honest with myself and others on how I truly feel about myself at times. I'm being honest about the fact that I'm not perfect and will never be perfect (wow talk about tiring!) and I'm accepting that I'm perfect JUST the WAY I ALREADY am. I'm exactly where He wants me to be be at this moment in my life.

But, what I want to see and want to be, I already am. And my God and friends, already see that. They see the beautiful, loving, reliable, trusting, great, wonderful, forgiving, friendly, sweet, girl that I have a hard time seeing. They see His image emanating from me. WOW...pretty powerful stuff huh? So I've decided to get out of "this" pit and start believing and trusting them 100%. And if I get a big head, I can always count on my girl to keep me grounded! I'm not saying it'll always be easy and knowing me I'll stumble a MILLION times, but God and the special people in my life will be there to help me.

So Heavenly Father, thank You for all that You do for me. Thank You for the faithful and loving friends and people that You have placed in my life. And thank You for Your grace and love. I am truly blessed.

Until next time, FROG....

Oh what a night.....

Picture it (I know, sounds a lot like Sophia from Golden Girls...), it was April of 2007. I was at the Telecommunicator's Conference in Salemburg, NC (it's held annually for dispatchers all over the state of NC). But moving on...we took classes, met new dispatchers from all over the state, and had a blast. And it just happens to be where I met "him".

If memory serves me right (lately it's hit and miss) it was the 2ND night of the conference when they held a party/dance. At first me and my gang (it's a great song!!) hadn't planned on going. We weren't in the mood to drink and calling it a night at the dorm sounded very tempting! However, we decided to go over and check it out. Man am I glad I did! I danced the night away...100% sober I might add... I had a blast and of course...that's where I met "him".

Now I noticed "him" standing close by watching my every move (there were some really wild ones I might add too...ha ha). I noticed him too...red hair, glasses, really nice smile, goatee, and taller than me (always a plus I might add!!). I can't remember who broke the ice first. I believe it was "him". I had requested a slow song, Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. The guy I was supposed to dance it with was outside. So "him" being the great guy that he is, stepped in and took his place. I wish I hadn't gone on and on about the guy that I was supposed to dance with, but I did. But "he" was great...he didn't leave my side the rest of the night.

Eventually a small group of us headed to the student lounge to hang out (me, "him", and 2 others). "He" and I were going to dance another slow dance (this time this one for us), but we never did find a good song. Instead, I laid my head on his shoulder and bummed smokes. And "he" being the wonderful man that he is, had no problem with any of it.

The next day, we were both shy and chatted a bit and took some classes together. We had exchanged contact information the night before. And then we simply parted ways. When I got home you better believe I added him to my yahoo messenger. And since that meeting, we've kept in contact, building a beautiful friendship....Until next time, FROG...

Practicing what you preach.....or not......

If I practiced what I preached, I'd be doing good...but then I suppose we all would. Really, think about it, you can GIVE advice, you just can't APPLY it in YOUR OWN life. Well, if you're feeling that way, I'm in the same boat with you. In fact I'm pretty sure we're sitting in an ocean liner the size of either the Queen II or the Titanic. I can give advice with the best of them, but I can't APPLY it to my life at all. But if I could, man would life be a lot easier.

I think I'm a worrier by nature. I know God doesn't want me to worry, but I do. I should give all my problems to Him, but I feel I can take care of it much better than He can...STUPID STUPID STUPID girl! I feel He's getting me ready for a HUGE growth spurt. There is so much going on around me that I feel powerless (I'm not a fan of this feeling. I don't like feeling vulnerable). Growing as a child of God, relationships changing, friendships changing, friendships beginning, a new guy in my life, I mean it's busy. And here I am trying to take control of it all, instead of just being and learning. I'm not a fan of change, I never have been. But then God is all about throwing us out of our comfort zones....

If a friend came to me with the same story, I'd tell them to "go with the flow", "not to worry", "be patient", "be still and know that He is God", "walk by faith, not by sight", blah blah blah blah blah. You know what I'm saying, because you've said it too. Maybe not exactly the same way, but you've said something along those lines before. However this is YOUR life! What you're going through is DIFFERENT than ANYONE ELSE'S plight. BUT IT'S NOT!! It's the same thing, maybe a different scenario and different players, but it's the same. As Solomon said, nothing new under the sun. Someone else has felt the same way and hasn't taken their own advice.

And what's sad, I know what I need to do...I know if I would follow what I'm preaching to others, I'd be happy and relaxed. I'd be enjoying my life more. I wouldn't feel so lost. I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed. My course of action? I'm giving/submitting it to God and I'm going to trust Him more (I have SEVERE trust issues). I'm going to go with the flow and try to relax and enjoy things more. It's gonna take some PRACTICING, but with some patient people in my life, I'm sure I will be successful. Until next time, FROG....

Leaded, unleaded, or somewhere in between.....

I'm a coffeeholic. I LOVE coffee...maybe a little too much! And I'm not into all that fru fru stuff. Don't get me wrong, I do occasionally enjoy an iced West 3rd from Front Porch Cafe (local coffee house on the Outer Banks) or a Mocha Frappuccino. But for the most part, I'm a "plain Jane". I like Foldgers 100% Columbian (LEADED!) coffee with enough cream to make it a nice shade of tan. No flavored coffee creamers or sweetener here! Just plain hardcore leaded java! And I don't just like a cup or 2 of coffee a day, I drink more like 1 1/2 to 2 pots a day!! Can we say ADDICTED?!?!

For those who drink Unleaded coffee, I'm not gonna bust on you. Some people are just anti-caffeine (don't stone me here). And for the most part it's due to health reasons. I can respect that. To each is his own. And in all actuality, decaff coffee tastes a WHOLE lot better than it did when I was growing up (my Grandpap used to drink Sanka, instant decaffeinated coffee...ugh!!). I've even been FOOLED before and didn't know I was drinking decaff (it's probably a subconscious thing) But if I'm in the store, you better believe I'm putting the leaded stuff in my cart!

HOWEVER...I think I need to switch to the "somewhere in between". I'm so hyped up on the caffeine that I'm "zinging" here and there and everywhere in between. My brain is always going and there is always something to do, even if my body is begging for relaxation. I also believe that the caffeine is having the opposite effect that I want it to. Instead of being alert and awake, I'm tired and groggy. Why? Simply because my body IS tired, but I'm so keyed up that I can't sleep and I'm not getting the deep sleep that I need. And on top of that, I'm a talker by nature, add a pot of coffee and I'm a speed talker. I get to rambling on so fast that my dearest friend has to remind me to breathe!!

So, after talking to countless friends and my Dr. I've decided to mix my "leaded" with "unleaded" to get "something in between". I'm hoping I'll get just enough "zing" without all added the "zinging". And remember, if you're going to drink unleaded, make sure it's NATURALLY unleaded! It's healthier for you! Until next time, FROG...

Do you need to dump the sand out of your mayonnaise jar too?

Hey y'all! It's me again!! I received an email the other day from my Great Aunt, that goes along with the point I was pondering and blogged about yesterday. Here is the e-mail I received

When things in your life seem almost too much too handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full they agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things- God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

"One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee presented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

To be 100% honest, my mayonnaise jar is 3/4's of the way full. I'm trying to cram my golf balls into that 1/4 space...guess what!?!? IT ISN'T WORKING (it's kind of like beating your head against the wall...) So I'm starting to think that I need to clean out my "closet" and reprioritize my life. And with His help, I'll be able to. I need to put the golf balls in FIRST and THEN everything else. And if I clean really well, I might be able to pour in 4 cups of coffee instead of just 2! Until next time, FROG...

Too Blessed to be Stressed or Too Stressed to be Blessed...which do you fall under?

Hey Y'all! It's me again with the latest topic I've been pondering... So, which category do you fall under? Are you too blessed to be stressed or are you too stressed to be blessed? To be completely honest, as of late, I've been falling under the latter category. I'm too stressed to see all the blessings God is bestowing upon me. For instance today, it felt that I had one million and one things to do (huge exaggeration). And instead of enjoying my "to do" list and taking my time, I stressed, got aggravated, and I grumbled and griped to my dearest friend (basically I was an angry chicken running around with it's head cut off). Scary picture if you ask me. And as I was leaving the last place on my list, the post office, I saw a lady cleaning the glass door wearing a t-shirt that bore the phrase "too blessed to be stressed". I smiled and complimented her t-shirt, told her "God bless you" and walked out the door to my car. As I walked to my car, I was thinking about that phrase and smiling to myself. I was admitting to God that I needed to do that. I needed to be "too blessed to be stressed". On that note, I somehow stumbled and tripped as I was stepping down off the curb. I twisted and landed on my ankle, and my hands landed on the hood of my car and kept me from falling on my face (as you can see, my middle name isn't Grace). After standing up, my ankle was in excruciating pain. I limped to the door of my car and got in (Just call me Gimpy, the 3 legged race horse). I sat a few minutes and caught my breath, checked my ankle to make sure it wasn't broken and thanked God that it wasn't my right ankle...ha ha! I worried that I might have broken it or sprained it, but I could move it and the pain subsided, and I figured that was a good sign. Now you would think I'd be even more aggravated, but as I drove home, I found myself chuckling at my lack of "grace". In fact I chuckling so much, that I had to call my dearest friend at work and relate the story to her. Praise the Lord for that.



So I got home, worked on a few projects, chatted online to my dearest friend, relaxed in a hot bubble bath, and I'm starting to unwind. And as I was doing that, this topic popped into my head. I need to "let go" and I need to "stop and smell the roses" more. Too often in this life we get caught up in the "not so important things" and neglect the "important things". Col. 3:2 states for us to "Set your mind on the things above, and not on the things that are on earth". 2 Cor. 4:18 tells us "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Jesus tells us in Matt. 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Jer. 29:11 states "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope." God tells us He directs our steps in Prov. 16:9 "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." So in other words God is telling us not to "sweat the small stuff", that we are to seek refuge in Him, and that no matter what we plan for ourselves, HE IS IN CONTROL of our life and our path, WE ARE NOT. So it would be easier to cast our cares on Him because He is much better equipped to deal with our "problems" than we are. Have you ever noticed that when we try to control our life, we make a complete mess out of it? I have. So from now on, I'm going to try to be "too blessed to be stressed" instead of being "too stressed to be blessed". The first idea is so much comforting and relaxing than the latter. Until next time, FROG.....

Calling all fellow "Vivian Complex" sufferers......

"People put you down enough, you start to believe it."....."The bad stuff is easier to believe." says Vivian, Julia Roberts' character, to Edward, Richard Geres' character, in Pretty woman...This is what I have dubbed the "Vivian Complex".

Come on y'all, you know perfectly well what I'm talking about. At some point in our lives, we've all suffered from the "Vivian Complex". Be completely honest with yourself (and everyone else) you have been or are a fellow "Vivian Complex" Sufferer. I'm the PRESIDENT of the club! The BAD stuff is EASIER to believe. It is easier to believe that we are worthless, no good, pieces of garbage, that don't deserved to be cared about or loved instead of what we truly are, fearfully and wonderfully made in Gods' image and of His divine design. And if you have someone that is constantly putting you down, it's even EASIER to continue to believe the BAD stuff. Satan is good at reminding us of the bad stuff too. He's the great deceiver and believe me, he's constantly whispering to me. And then sometimes we're so engrossed in our own pity party (room for only one at this table) that we don't want to hear the GOOD stuff that others and God are telling us...

Lately, I've started to LISTEN to what God and others have been telling me. That I am worth it. I'm so worth it and so loved that God sent His only begotten Son to die on the Cross for me. I am a good girl, I am sweet, I am caring, I do care. The problem...I don't always feel that I am those things. I'm learning that I don't have to "feel" to "be". As long as I am obeying God and following Him, then I am A OK. I've also started to believe that those qualities that others see, are qualities of God. At those times where I don't feel that I am a good person and another does, that is Gods' image shining through me. Praise the Lord!

So, now when I talk to my friends and joke them when they're having a "Vivian Complex" moment, I remind them that they are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made and that God DOESN'T make mistakes! Until next time, FROG...

And Then There was EBay....

Hello and Good Day! I don't know about y'all, but I'm not a big "EBayer". Sure I've used it once or twice to find a few things, but I'm don't visit it daily. In fact until today, I hadn't bid on anything since 2006. Well today, I bid on 6 things...ha ha. And praise Jesus, it was a good day for me on EBay! Now, I'm a huge fan of the "buy now" button. I like to be able to get what I want fast and easy. I'm not all for the "bidding wars" like some of you folks. I mean really!?!? I'm not very competitive and knowing me, I'd forget and either lose the item or the one time, I really didn't know what I was doing and put my maximum bid down as $20.00 for a book ( I forgot to stick a decimal in there). So anyways, the other person bid high, and I got stuck paying $17.00 something plus shipping and handling, for a book that I really didn't want that badly in the first place (it was Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks...I didn't really care for the movie...I just wanted to see if the book was any better). Moving on....

As I said, today was a great day for me on EBay! First of all, I got the Macy's Talking Plush Shrek Doll for $12.98 (that includes S&H and yes it had a "buy now" button!!). Now I know that to y'all this isn't a big deal, but it was to me. The reason it's such a big deal is because, it's going to make a certain 16 month old little girl VERY happy (there is a story here). One of my dear friends, has a baby girl that loved her roommates Macy Shrek Doll. She loved this toy so much, that she took it EVERYWHERE she went. However, when my friend moved out, her roommate wouldn't let her little girl have the Shrek doll. So, there was the mad rush to find one for her. And by the Grace of God, I happened to find one!! So Baby Baby Cakes, you finally have a talking Shrek doll all of your own now!! *End of Story*

Secondly, I was looking for the Shrek movies for the same little girl too. Now I checked deepdiscount.com, amazon.com and walmart.com. I'm a bargain hunter. I check all the sites and find the best price including S&H. Well I tried looking on EBay and guess what!?!? I found all 3 from different buyers and you guessed it they had "buy now" buttons. So, I bough now!! I got all 3 for the grand total of $29.98, S&H included. I LOVE IT!! I also found her Beauty and the Beast. I passed up the "buy now" button, but only because the movie was .99 and there were 17 minutes left with no bids (I told you, I'm not competitive...). However, I thought I'd take a chance. I took the chance alright. I bid on a movie that's coming over from Australia and isn't brand new... I'm not sure how I feel about this, but as long as it works, I'll be alright. Plus, Baby Baby Cakes is only 16 months old... She's not particular....ha ha....YET!!!

Lastly, I got myself the Snow White DVD. I payed $26.98 for it (S&H included). But, being that they have locked in the vault until they free it again and it was new, I thought it was a good buy. So anyways, I'm not sure if I'm on my way to being a EBay addict or not, but for today, I played in the minor leagues!! Until next time, FROG...

Like any other morning.....

I work shift work. Two days and then two nights, 12 hours each day and night. So when I get off from my 1st night shift, I'm usually tired. All I can think about is my nice, queen sized bed waiting for me...and the fact that I have to be up by 5pm so that I can do it all over again. Then I think about getting home and getting my "Furry" family taken care of (no worries, you'll learn all about them soon enough), so that I can climb into my nice, queen sized bed. So this morning, like any other morning, I got home and was greeted by my 2 cats, Charlie and Squidgie, and then the barking and whining of my mixed lab, Sadie (she gets gated in the laundry room so that she doesn't reek havoc on my house while I'm gone. She's rather destructive). Like always, the cats ran for cover while Sadie bounded around the house enjoying her new found freedom. So off to the door she ran doing her "pee pee dance" as I call it. As she waited for me to open the door, I talked to her, like normal (she really does understand me no matter what you say) and I turned on her shock collar (don't get upset, it's truly needed in her case) and fastened it around her neck so that she could go out to do her "business". While she did that I was feeding and watering the "mamimals" and making the ever essential pot of coffee (I'm a coffee fanatic). Well I heard Sade at the door, so I let her in, took off her collar and headed to the master bathroom. I noticed that the door was partially closed. This wouldn't normally make me wonder, my cats are rather energetic and like to lean on the door and close it...I know...different. So I push open the door, planning on changing into comfy clothes, and I find dirt from a plant on the window sill all over the floor and my toilet. And not to mention, my poor plant laying discarded to the side. I stood there shocked... After regaining some composure, I looked around, Sadie stood next to me looking at the mess and me, and strangely enough, the cats where nowhere to be found. I got the vacuum, cleaned up the mess, stuck the plant back in the dirt and watered it (she still looks puny, but I'm hoping after a few days she'll look normal again). Now who could the culprit be?! None other than Squidgie. How did I know this? Because the shiny, metallic ribbon I used to tie the curtain back with was mysteriously missing. And being the ever knowing "mom" that I am, I know that Squidgie likes eating ribbons, hair ties, rubber bands, and things of that nature. She's also more curious about things than my almost 8 yr old orange tabby male, Charlie. So, it wasn't like any other morning, I had to vacuum before going to bed!! But I finally made it there... Until next time, FROG....

A First for Me.....

This is my first time blogging...I don't know how I feel about blogging (it's kind of like keeping a public diary, minus all the REALLY juicy stuff). I guess I'm a tad excited about it (I did like setting up and naming my blog), but I see it as "another thing to do". We are living in the day and age of "technology". You can send an email in an instant and keep in touch with family and friends daily. Hmmm...strangely like a blog.... However, I stink at emailing. Send me an email and it takes me FOREVER to get back to you, but I can forward with the best of them...lol. Call me "old school" but I'm a HUGE fan of snail mail. I like sitting down and jotting a quick card or letter to a friend or loved one. I love getting cards and letters in the mail. There's nothing better than knowing that someone thought enough about you to sit down and actually write a card or letter to you. But don't get the wrong idea, I love it when I get an email from someone too. Sometimes e-mailing takes just as much time. Now I know you're scratching your head...You're sitting there going, "OK, this chick doesn't have a lot of time, she stinks at emailing which is faster, but she loves writing letters..." Just stop right there, don't try to figure it out, you'll get a brain cramp...I can almost guarantee it. I've had a lot of things I could write about zinging around in my brain today, so I guess I'll give it a try and see how it goes. This could be the beginning of a beautiful or scary thing depending on how you look at it. Until next time, FROG.....