Breaking Up IS Hard to Do.

The song says it all..."Breaking Up IS Hard to Do". A month and 4 days ago, it was an ordinary day. It was my first day off, I had family and friends that loved me, and I was dating a man I planned to marry. It's funny how life can change in the blink of an eye. One moment you're happy and in the next moment, you're blinking rapidly and realizing that the future YOU planned for YOURSELF is NEVER going to happen.

Yup, that's what happened to me a month and 4 days ago. The man I was in a relationship with posed a question that made me realize that our plans for the future weren't compatible. My "PLANNED" future, slowly started to crumble before me. And after 2 days of over analyzing and thinking, I came to the conclusion that us going our separate ways was the best.

I methodically started packing everything that reminded me of "us" away. Gone were the pictures of "us" and "him". Myspace and Facebook status' changed. Pictures were written to a disk and then deleted from computers. My cell and home phone got "cleaned" out. And after a month of "waiting" (even though I knew this was the right thing to do) for him to contact me, I deleted him from my yahoo messenger and Myspace, so that I could finally start healing.

God is good like that. I knew from the beginning this probably was something I shouldn't get into. My spirit realized it, I just didn't want to listen. I had a man that thought I was sexy and smart and liked me for me. However, our communication wasn't all that great ( I was quiet. If you know me, I'm soooo not quiet) and I stopped going to church because I felt like a hypocrite. I was hiding. So after breaking up, I realized that I needed to put God first in my life. I also felt very peaceful. I can't explain it, all I know is that after my break up, I knew things were going to be different; in choosing men to date, Christians only please, and that I would truly try to follow my loving Father. And after OFFICIALLY closing the door yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling that today was truly a "new day".

My ex is never far from my thoughts and I know that eventually thoughts of him will fade, as will memories. I will be forever grateful that he encouraged my going back to school. My prayer for him is a lifetime of happiness and good fortune. And yes, I still love him.

But as for me, I've mentally written down every memory on a mental sticky note and I've tied them together in a neat pile with a ribbon and have tucked them away. I've closed a chapter and I'm starting a new one. I don't know where it will lead, but as long as I'm following Him, it can't be bad. Until next time, Frog!